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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

How to integrate others into the CNVEP's philosophy

Anybody have suggestions on how to integrate other family members (grandparents, etc.) use of reward & punishment into Center philosophy? i.e. What to say to a child when they have been confronted with this behavior?

Comments:
Finding ways to engage other family members in conversation can be difficult. ONe does not want to undermine what grandparents etc can bring to the child.Asking a family relative "would you be willing to talk with me about..." is a request rather than a demand that may come when we feel critical. Finding little ways to connect can be the beginning. Would you be willing to say "you are crying - it is ok to cry may be a small change rather than saying "I hate it when you .... This comes from feelings but maynot engage the family member in conversation.
One more thing -as children grow up we may want to share with them that the family is bi-paradigm. "In our family we are all learning how to talk about our feelings. When grandpa was a little boy he didn't learn how to do that . Sometimes he says things that don't understand what you are feeling. If you use "giraffe and jackal" you can say we are giraffe's in our family, grandparents learnt to be jackals. Grandpa loves you very much. He has a different way of sharing with you"
 
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